A while back, my oldest daughter had written a post referring to a dream that she had had. It was a nightmare and she was scared. Somehow the dream was turned into a debate over her sexuality and how she should look at males.
I did what I always do; I sat back for a moment and took in what everyone had posted. My response was that not all guys are jerks, not all guys are arrogant, not all guys are immature, and not all guys will leave you every chance they get. I kept wondering what this world was teaching my children. Is this world based off of the Battle of the Sexes?
I am raising two of my oldest daughters completely on my own and my two youngest with the help of their father. My two oldest are spitting images of myself. Let me take a step back….I am actually raising my children with the help of the internet. Wait! What?! Yes, this is a fact if you have any type of electronic that has the capability to be connected to WiFi or the internet.
A long time ago we didn’t have to worry about what everyone said or did because they had little control over our children. There was a saying that It Takes a Village to Raise a Child, and this use to be true but now our village is filled with pedophiles, terrorist, extremist, and, unfortunately, someone’s grandmother who thinks that putting her two sense in is well worth the effort of an argument.
Back to the subject….I want my children to realize that not everyone is bad but, not everyone is good either. It takes a strong individual to be able to read someone and know how they are and to know what their end game is….some of these people do have a vendetta, grudge, or, they may even be social paths but, some individuals are caring, loving, and could foster their personal growth.
I may not have the best track record for relationships…hell, I mean, I have only been in four serious relationships since I have become an adult but I do what I can, when I can, to show them that not everyone is bad. I am an independent person. It takes me a long time to admit when I need help. Basically, I would need to be at the bottom of the barrel and unable to breathe before I reached out to anyone.
Do I think that guys are jerks? No, not always. I think that guys can be caring. It is the same with females though; some females are vindictive while others are nurturing. To tell a child that guys will end up leaving them pregnant is not the way that I want my daughters to grow up. Not all guys will do this. I understand there are shows which broadcast pregnant teens, and they are doing nothing but feeding into this new way of life for some, that either it is okay to be pregnant while still a teen or, if you do become pregnant the guy will leave or, if pregnancy happened while you are under the age of eighteen then your parents will step up to the plate.
I am pro-choice and I have these sorts of talks with my children and I can assure you they know the consequences of becoming pregnant or even having sex for that matter. So, why is it I still have to monitor what other people say to them? Is it any of their business? They claim it is because they care about my children and want what is best for them, but advocating all males will do you wrong is not helping them in any way.
When you tell a female child all males are jerks, and will leave you the first chance they get, or will cheat on you and will do you nothing but harm, you are giving them a mindset that all males are horrible. Trust me, they have seen some horrible guys, jerks even, but they know there are still good guys out there. If you were to ask any of my children they would tell you their mom is single by choice and it has nothing to do with her being wrongly done by a guy. They would also tell you although one relationship is bad, doesn’t mean the next one isn’t going to lead you to your prince charming.
It makes me furious when I have to listen to people try to persuade my children into their realm of beliefs. Since when did it become okay for someone to constantly talk bad about the opposite sex when their parents, or parent, have repeatedly asked them not to? It is not okay and this is not how I want my children raised. Disrespect! Disrespect is what I see from these individuals.
My next question is why would you want them to believe all guys are jerks just because you have had bad luck with the opposite sex? Has it ever dawned on you that maybe it is because you go after individuals who are like this, instead of finding someone who is more up your alley?