One of the hardest things about being a parent is knowing how and when to discipline your child. There are many disagreements between spouses and some of these are caused by disagreeing on the discipline route that you should take when your child is in trouble. Some times one spouse feels that the discipline was to harsh and the other may feel that it wasn’t harsh enough. You both want what is best for your children and yet it is hard to come up with a compromise on the situation.
When you are going to discipline your child, never discuss it in front of them. This will only allow for the child to see who is on his side and which parent is the leanest with them, this might set you up for a down fall later in their life. If you need to discuss the situation, have the child to wait in their room and tell them that you will be back with the discipline that you both feel is necessary. While the child is in the room, the spouses should go to another room so that they can discuss the situation. Do not raise your voices loud enough that they will be able to hear you and try your hardest to not get mad at the other spouse. Keep in mind that you both want whats best for your child and you are both entitled to your opinion.
When both parents discipline the child together, this shows that you both agree with each other in the end. As long as the parents do not mention the discipline in front of the child or argue in front of them until they have both made a decision, the child will not know which parent actually chose the discipline.
Just remember that as long as it does not involve physical punishment or something that may hurt your child, it will be over with before too long. I always try to keep this in mind whenever I don’t agree with something. Sometimes it is better to hold your tongue than it is too say something that just because you feel bad for the child who is in trouble.
I hate to discipline my children but I know that it is all a part of their growing up to be a wonderful adult. Without discipline, this world would be in a much worse shape than what it is already in. Discipline is what helps them learn from right and wrong. It is a way of letting them know that they can not continue to do those things anymore and when they do them, there will be a consequence as a result of it.
Kids might be angry at first, this is only for the time that they are in trouble. The next day when they wake up, they will be in a much brighter mood and will act as though it wasn’t a big deal, continue to learn with them and see what works and what doesn’t.
Kids have a way of testing peoples patience and this is okay because they will learn from this. Maybe the other spouse is seeing a new side to discipline because everything else that you have done has failed. Each time that my children get in trouble for the same thing that they had gotten in trouble for before, I make the discipline a little bit more harsher than the last time. This will let them know that if they continue to do those same things, it is only going to get worse for them.
It is hard to understand your spouses point of view when you are upset. If you listen and really listen to them, they just might have a point for feeling the way that they do. Take turns discussing the situation and what you feel is the proper way of handling it. This will get you through the small stuff first so that you can both work up to an agreement.