Death,  Parenting

Pregnancy: How to Tell Your Other Children

One of the hardest things to do when you are expecting a child, is to tell the other people in the family. The reason behind this is because you don’t know how they are going to react or how well that they will take the situation. Other children may find it hard to believe while others, except it and appreciate the fact that you told them. Some children tend to go into a shell, some begin to act like a baby themselves, children will also sometimes become angry or jealous. But you need to tell them because they are going to be a part of this new baby’s life.

The question is, when is the right time to tell them. This really depends on the age of your children. Rule of thumb is that if they are under the age of ten, it is best to wait until they can see your belly or feel the movement. Another reason to wait is so that you can make sure that you are in less danger of a miscarriage. Children understand pregnancy a lot better than they do a miscarriage. This will also make it more real to them and help them to understand. If they are older children, they will understand as soon as you tell them.

If you and the baby’s dad are living together, it is best for you to tell them while you are together. This will let them know that it is a family process and that both of you are happy and so that you can talk to them together about it.

Be warned that they might find out from someone other than you. If you happen to tell a family member and they accidentally let it slip out, they might be disappointed that you would tell them last instead of first. This can set the child up for a real heart break. If someone finds out, ask them to not mention it to anyone else until you have told your other children.

Knowing what is best for your child, isn’t always easy and this is a big discussion that they are going to want to talk about. The older children might ask you about the baby and if they can be there during the process or to pick out the name. The younger children will probably ask you questions about where the baby came from and how it got into a belly. Be prepared to answer these questions and do not lie to them. You don’t have to tell them about the entire sexual experience but a story about the stork is really not necessary. The best way to answer where babies come from is a simple explanation like, it is a moment that momma and daddy have together and it is something that you will find out when you are older but you are not ready to find out but when you are older I will tell you. If the child persist, you could always take them to a child psychologist who specializes in this sort of thing and they might be able to help you and your child to figure out an appropriate answer to all of their questions.

A pregnancy should be a family ordeal and it should be something that the entire family can discuss. Your children are just as much a part of this family as you are and therefore they should be involved in some of the decisions. If you get your children involved, they will be less likely to resent any of it and be less likely to deal with it in anger and to become jealous.

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